I went to a funeral the other day and it turned out to be a memorial/party, which was perfect. However, you would think that a military man, loving father, and 3 time husband who liked to have fun, would have more people at his memorial then a mere 50. Then I thought about other funerals that had low turnouts and recalled a friend telling me they did not want to go because they were not good with goodbyes. That made me wonder how popular this type of absence really is, and why it’s so hard to say goodbye to someone.Goodbyes should not be sad. It is an opportunity to move forward, to reach the next rung on the ladder, and to expand horizons. To eliminate the things that were holding you back and looking forward to spreading your wings with something new.
Goodbyes come in many shapes and sizes, but they all have the same thing in common – leaving something behind to move forward. Maybe that is where the problem really lies. It may not be the one moving forward that has the probably, but the one who is not, and feeling left out. Misery loves company and emotions love to get in the way, but let’s say we left emotion out of it. Would goodbyes still be hard? Now, add it back in, but what if the one left behind was also moving forward to something new and exciting, would the goodbye still be sad?
It all comes down to perspective. If we look at goodbye as a process forward (even in death) then the goodbye no longer becomes sad or painful. It’s just an opportunity for improvement for both the person going through the change and the person watching it. I think all goodbyes should be a party, a celebration of accomplishments and the possibilities of what still lies ahead. It is not the end of something but the beginning. Once we look at them from this perspective, we will find them easier to deal with then we did in the past.
What would be the positives to these “so called” goodbyes?
|Leaving a job||Divorce||Graduating|
|Changing job positions||Losing a pet||Moving|
|Getting rid of a vehicle||End of a season||End of a relationship|
|Getting married (end of independence)||Changing a habit||Illness|
|Having a baby (end of free time)||Funeral/death||Ending a good book or movie|